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The Dead Hand Journal

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Funny

13

 This purportedly is a book report written by a school child (probably a boy). The source for this piece is unknown, but it has the ring of truth.

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23

"Appropriate" Holiday Greetings...

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31

Also appropriately subtitled Advice For College Grads. I don't know who this Andrew Klavan guy is, but I like him!

His answer: we aren't mean. We're just grownups who read non-fiction—chapter books, you see—and aren't afraid of footnotes.

Hat tip: Mr. Smith.

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19

Well, I think we can all agree that we successfully pulled THAT cat's fangs. Stalin must be laughing his ass off during breaks from his primary duties as Hell's communal happy sock.

Hat tip: Mr. Smith.

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18

Spot, it's time for you to learn to be a dog. Here, use this aardvark as your model:

Obama's Faith-Based Adviser Urges Challenge to ‘Heteronormative' Fatherhood

Hat tip: Mr. Smith.

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17
HITLER was a Community Organizer, and BILL CLINTON was a Governor. If the truth hurts... WEAR it!

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19

New research compiled by Australian scientist Dr. Tom Chalko shows that global seismic activity on Earth is now five times more energetic than it was just 20 years ago. The cause? Global warming, of course!

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28

If you're having a hard time getting your kid to quit playing with high explosives, show him this video. Unless you're a terrorist, in which case we encourage you to join in the fun.

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28

They want to protect space from radioactive contamination...

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27

I mean, they must be! After all, they like Mohammed a lot better than they like Jesus...

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27

"Coming at you from left field" turns out to mean more than it means.

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27

Why does a chicken cross the road?

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15

Marine EOD takes a page from Hollywood and brings a little flash to an Iraq insurgent's stone house.

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02

This is an ACTUAL letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.

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01

The best part about having to share the country with liberal clowns is watching them eat their own young. Here's a case in point.

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