The Dead Hand Journal

New research compiled by Australian scientist Dr. Tom Chalko shows that global seismic activity on Earth is now five times more energetic than it was just 20 years ago. The cause? Global warming, of course!

If you're having a hard time getting your kid to quit playing with high explosives, show him this video. Unless you're a terrorist, in which case we encourage you to join in the fun.

They want to protect space from radioactive contamination...

"Coming at you from left field" turns out to mean more than it means.

Why does a chicken cross the road?

I mean, they must be! After all, they like Mohammed a lot better than they like Jesus...

Marine EOD takes a page from Hollywood and brings a little flash to an Iraq insurgent's stone house.

This is an ACTUAL letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.

The best part about having to share the country with liberal clowns is watching them eat their own young. Here's a case in point.

Note to Jon Stewart and his retarded playmates over at Comedy Central: this is what grown-ups call irony.

Congress is considering sweeping legislation which will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

Hordes of vacationers opt out of the traditional turkey dinner in favor of travel over Thanksgiving. Most, however, are not packing their bags for war-torn countries such as Afghanistan, where Israeli-born comedian Avi Liberman found himself over the holiday performing for American troops.

"What the hell was on 572's right wing?" The result of MacNamara's ordnance shortage in 'Nam... "We gave them everything we had... EVERYTHING!"

A true story from VA-25.

Detonating the terrorist bomb is just part of the problem.

Aren't you curious if this would work?