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The Dead Hand Journal

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03

Iran is holding fifteen British subjects and one American – an ex-FBI agent who has been missing in Iran for about a month. Iran has been a thorn in our side ever since they took American hostages back in 1979. Since then the Swiss have been handling our diplomatic contacts through their embassy in Tehran and the Iranian embassy in Bern. In our attempts to deal with the radical Tehran regime, we have unsuccessfully tried every trick in the book – except to speak to them in a language that they understand. If I were in charge, here is how it would go down.

I would order Condi to set up an off-the-record meeting between herself and the Iranian ambassador to Switzerland using the good services of the Swiss government, preferably at the American embassy in Bern. At that meeting the conversation would go something like this:

Condi: "Mr. Ambassador, you are holding fifteen British subjects and one American. You are to deliver these people unharmed to the Swiss embassy in Tehran in two hours." Condi casually looks at her watch. "If they are not delivered unharmed to the Swiss embassy in two hours, we will take out the Tehran airport."

Without further comment, Condi turns and leaves the room.

Two hours later, because Iran will most certainly not comply with the demand, we hit the Tehran airport, functionally disabling its runways and control towers, but leaving the rest of the facilities intact.

We immediately call for another meeting in Switzerland where the conversation would go something like this:

Condi: "Mr. Ambassador, you are holding fifteen British subjects and one American. You are to deliver these people unharmed to the Swiss embassy in Tehran in two hours." Condi casually looks at her watch. "If they are not delivered unharmed to the Swiss embassy in two hours, we will take out Qeshm Island."

Without further comment, Condi turns and leaves the room.

Two hours later, because Iran still will probably not comply with the demand, we hit Qeshm Island, destroying the entire infrastructure of the refining capability there and any other facilities.

We immediately call for another meeting in Switzerland where the conversation would go something like this:

Condi: "Mr. Ambassador, you are holding fifteen British subjects and one American. You are to deliver these people unharmed to the Swiss embassy in Tehran in two hours." Condi casually looks at her watch. "If they are not delivered unharmed to the Swiss embassy in two hours, we will take out your nuclear production facilities."

Without further comment, Condi turns and leaves the room.

Two hours later, if Iran still has not complied with the demand, we hit each of Iran's known nuclear research and production facilities, using our newly introduced smart sequential bomb that places a series of relatively small smart bombs into the same increasingly deeper hole, until the last block-buster size bomb explodes at about 1,000 feet deep.

Then we call for another meeting...and we keep this up, targeting next Iran's 21 port facilities, then her government complex in Tehran, and finally all her mosques. Somewhere in this sequence – likely earlier than later, Iran will begin to understand very clearly the language we are using, and will capitulate, because our language contains no ambiguity.

Dealing with these people is not about diplomacy, it's about plain talk.

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